Joe Bob Briggs, March 3, 1991: “First they announced the demolition of the historic Pickwick Drive-In in Burbank, Calif., so they could put up another shopping center. Burbank Mayor Thomas Flavin, who saw John Wayne’s War Wagon at the Pickwick, objected. Then the drive-in burned down.”
Joe Bob Briggs, April 29, 1990: “Communist Alert! The Lumberjack Drive-In in Nacogdoches, Texas, has vanished without a trace. You know, the woods are real deep out there, and it was one of those Stephen King things.”
Mark Studer’s letter to Joe Bob Briggs, printed July 7, 1991: “I saw your little “Communist Alert” note about the Lumberjack Drive-In and, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel any great loss. Back around 1979 they went from the good old-fashioned low-fidelity 90 percent total-harmonic-distortion window-hung speakers to a high technology system using an AM radio transmitter and a fella’s own personal car stereo. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Good on paper, bad in practice. You always got an overlapping signal from the same cheesy radio station out of Juarez or some place south of the border. It’s hardly dramatic to find out the Darth Vader is Luke’s father while tapping out the beat to a Mexican polka! I think the almighty Drive-In God must have seen this happening and exorcised this drive-in. So be it. The real shame is that Stephen F. Austin students have one less place to party, since they outlawed liquor on campus!”
Joe Bob Briggs, July 21, 1991: “The Buffalo Drive-In in Buffalo, Mo., has reopened after several years of inactivity, and it’s been outfitted with radio sound. Buffalo may be the smallest town in America to have a fully functioning drive-in (population 1,915).”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 15, 1992: “The Sunset Drive-In, at Highway 113 and County Road 27 in Davis, Calif., is being eyed like raw meat by local vulture developers. But fortunately the current plan to turn it into a miniature golf course, driving range, batting-cage facility and arcade is gonna be denied because it might "impact” the endangered Swainson’s hawk. I’m not making this up. Tell these people to let it be a dad-blamed drive-in, like God intended, and the hawks can dive-bomb the hot dog stand for all we care."
Joe Bob Briggs, June 13, 1993: “The Burlingame Drive-In in Burlingame, Calif., has been bought by - you guessed it - the Japanese. The surprising thing is that they’re continuing to lease out the land to be used as a drive-in. Evidently they’re more American than we thought.”
Sounds like the Mission was temporarily closed in 1993.
Joe Bob Briggs, Aug. 8, 1993: “Norman Lear Alert! The Mission IV Drive-In, last remaining drive-in in San Antonio, Texas, recently was shut down by Act III-Santikos Theatres, which is partly owned by Norman Lear. How did we ever let this guy into Texas in the first place?”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 21, 1986: “Communist Alert! The Cayman Islands, home of bank employees with suitcases handcuffed to their arms that go down there to catch a few rays, has LOST its only drive-in. The Pease Bay Outdoor Cinema is littered with palm fronds, and fronded with litter. This is one of the most capitalist places to hide your money in the world, so we KNOW the Commies did it.”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 7, 1986: “Victory over Communism! After two years of utter darkness, the 271 Drive-In in Paris, Texas, got reopened by a Louisiana boy named Jim Moss and a local guy name of David Floyd. First night back, they were set to open at 7 and they had cars lined up out on the highway at 5:30. They been sold out ever since, includin the tornado night, when they were showin Porky’s numbers one, two and three. They get a special commendation for promising never to show Paris, Texas at the 271.”
Joe Bob Briggs, March 5, 1986: “Communist Alert! The Lakeshore Drive-In in Edgewater, Colo., is gonna be ripped down next summer with CITY MONEY. Why? “To improve the physical image of the city,” according to wimp-of-the-year drive-in destroyer Tom Kristopetit, head of the Edgewater Redevelopment Authority. Instead of a drive-in, the Head Wimp wants a Safeway, offices, restaurants and 250 “housing units.” He’s spending $16 million on it. If they’d show decent flicks, they could make that in one night."
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 11, 1985: “Communist Alert! There’s not much time left to save the Sunset Drive-In in Tumwater, Wash., where the city is holding meetings to try and confiscate the land for a new City Hall. Same old story - somebody sees a beautiful drive-in and the COVET it for alien uses."
Through its final drive-in list (1988), the Motion Picture Almanac continued to list it as the Varsity. (And still open, for that matter.) But this is probably about that drive-in:
Joe Bob Briggs, Nov. 6, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Portales Drive-In in Portales, N.M., just got bought up for "investment purposes.” I think we all know what that means. Pretty soon it’s gonna be a Richard Simmons Anatomy Asylum if those people don’t act immediately."
Joe Bob Briggs, Aug. 14, 1985: “Victory Over Communism! The Big Sky Drive-In in Phoenix was liberated from the condo developers and is OPEN again. Remember, with faith and a million dollars, anything is possible.”
Joe Bob Briggs, July 31, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Parkway Drive-In in Petaluma, Calif., the one right there next to Leisure Lake Mobile Home Park and Highway 101, is about to get fern-barred into oblivion by a developer named Marshall Ward. If this one goes, the closest one left to Santa Rosa is the Redwood Drive-In in Rohnert Park, and who the heck wants to go there?”
Joe Bob Briggs, June 26, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Vista Vue Drive-In in Security, Colo., bit the dust on May 30 when they chopped down the supports and let the mother fall down right there in front of God and everybody. Now this is right next door to Colorado Springs, so you might be wondering, WHERE THE HECK WAS THE AIR FORCE ACADEMY? They waited till school was out for the summer. You see how smart these guys are?”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 1, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Sunset Drive-In in Hot Springs, Arkansas, is history. A grocery chain got it, but they didn’t get the screen yet. We’re talkin about trying to project around the Safeway, but they plowed up all the parking ramps.”
Joe Bob Briggs, April 10, 1985: “Communist Alert! They bulldozed over the Rodeo Drive-In in Tucson for no good reason whatsoever. Ever since they started wheeling in the nursing-home patients from Detroit, this stuff has been happening all over Arizona.”
Joe Bob Briggs, March 20, 1985: “Communist Alert! They chopped down the screen at the Winchester Drive-In in Campbell, Calif., so they can put up a "research and development complex” named Campbell Corporate Center"
Joe Bob Briggs, March 6, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Silver Dollar Drive-In in Albuquerque is history. It’s outta here. Gravel city. By the time I found out, it was already a bunch of pansy apartments with wet bars. It was liberals from Santa Fe.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Feb. 13, 1985: “Communists discovered in Akron suburbs! A few weeks ago some KGB spies slipped into Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, and started ripping down the Ascot Drive-In to put up a used pickup-truck lot. Before the boys in the showroom over at Pride Chevrolet found out about it, it was already Smithereen City. That’s how they do it, they sneak up on you.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Jan. 9, 1985: “Miracle in Carolina! Last week, just in time for Christmas, the Skyline Drive-In in Wilmington, N.C., was resurrected for the first time since Hurricane Diana made it look like a permanent screening of Friday the 13th in 3-D. They call it the Skyway now, and they’re back to four bucks a carload, except for people from Raleigh who have to pay five.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Nov. 22, 1984: “Communist Alert! Last week a Superior Court judge named Henry V. Barnette Jr. (also known as Hanky Panky) said the Cairo Drive-In was a “public nuisance” and closed the sucker down. It’s the one in Fuquay-Varina, N.C., run by Jimbo Bullock. Jimbo’s 64 years old and his wife just had a heart attack and he just flat don’t have the cold cash to appeal. It’s one thing when the greedy turkeys buy up the land and rip down the screens to build Wal-Marts. It’s a whole lot different when our own judges and lawyers turn out to be Communists in disguise.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 26, 1984: “Communist Alert! New facts keep coming out about Judge Henry V. “Hanky Panky” Barnette and his ruling that closed down the Cairo Drive-In in FuquayVarina, N.C. It seems that Hanky had to watch nine movies, including one that they put on upside down, before he could figure out they were “obscene.” First he watched Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle, then Titillation, Up and Coming, Johnny Does Paris, Summertime Blue, and four more of the suckers."
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 5, 1984: “Communist Alert! World War III on the horizon! Last week the last operating drive-in in Lubbock, Texas was burned to the ground. The Circle Drive-In’s last double feature was Let’s Get Physical and Taboo, and Lubbock police are talking vigilante city by the drive-in haters and their fellow Babtist sympathizers."
Joe Bob Briggs, Sept. 19, 1984: “Communist Alert! Joe Bob reminds you that last week they shut down the Southside Drive-In in Macon, George, for no good reason, which means they got the same number of drive-ins in Bibb County as Trans-Ams in Peking.”
The 1955-56 Theatre Catalog listed the Ranger under Ranger TX, owner H. N. Rapp, capacity 200 cars.
The RV park across the highway from the old Ranger site lists a Ranger TX postal address. This drive-in really ought to be listed here too under Ranger TX.
In July 1984, Joe Bob Briggs published a letter describing “an old, broken-down drive-in” on the south side of I-20 between Ranger and Olden at Exit 347. “(I)ts screen has crumbled, and grass and brush grow rampant over the parking lot.” Those are pretty specific details, but I can’t find a drive-in at that exit in old aerial photos.
On the other hand, in October 1984, the Midland Reporter-Telegram reported that the Ranger’s owner, Jackie Thornton, said the drive-in would be converted to radio sound “in about a year.” He also said the Ranger had never shown X-rated movies and wouldn’t as long as he owned it.
Joe Bob Briggs, March 3, 1991: “First they announced the demolition of the historic Pickwick Drive-In in Burbank, Calif., so they could put up another shopping center. Burbank Mayor Thomas Flavin, who saw John Wayne’s War Wagon at the Pickwick, objected. Then the drive-in burned down.”
Joe Bob Briggs, April 29, 1990: “Communist Alert! The Lumberjack Drive-In in Nacogdoches, Texas, has vanished without a trace. You know, the woods are real deep out there, and it was one of those Stephen King things.”
Mark Studer’s letter to Joe Bob Briggs, printed July 7, 1991: “I saw your little “Communist Alert” note about the Lumberjack Drive-In and, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel any great loss. Back around 1979 they went from the good old-fashioned low-fidelity 90 percent total-harmonic-distortion window-hung speakers to a high technology system using an AM radio transmitter and a fella’s own personal car stereo. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Good on paper, bad in practice. You always got an overlapping signal from the same cheesy radio station out of Juarez or some place south of the border. It’s hardly dramatic to find out the Darth Vader is Luke’s father while tapping out the beat to a Mexican polka! I think the almighty Drive-In God must have seen this happening and exorcised this drive-in. So be it. The real shame is that Stephen F. Austin students have one less place to party, since they outlawed liquor on campus!”
Same drive-in?
Joe Bob Briggs, July 21, 1991: “The Buffalo Drive-In in Buffalo, Mo., has reopened after several years of inactivity, and it’s been outfitted with radio sound. Buffalo may be the smallest town in America to have a fully functioning drive-in (population 1,915).”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 15, 1992: “The Sunset Drive-In, at Highway 113 and County Road 27 in Davis, Calif., is being eyed like raw meat by local vulture developers. But fortunately the current plan to turn it into a miniature golf course, driving range, batting-cage facility and arcade is gonna be denied because it might "impact” the endangered Swainson’s hawk. I’m not making this up. Tell these people to let it be a dad-blamed drive-in, like God intended, and the hawks can dive-bomb the hot dog stand for all we care."
Joe Bob Briggs, June 13, 1993: “The Burlingame Drive-In in Burlingame, Calif., has been bought by - you guessed it - the Japanese. The surprising thing is that they’re continuing to lease out the land to be used as a drive-in. Evidently they’re more American than we thought.”
Joe Bob Briggs, June 27, 1993: “The Starnite Drive-In in Halton (sic), N.D., has been reopened for the first time in 10 years.”
Sounds like the Mission was temporarily closed in 1993.
Joe Bob Briggs, Aug. 8, 1993: “Norman Lear Alert! The Mission IV Drive-In, last remaining drive-in in San Antonio, Texas, recently was shut down by Act III-Santikos Theatres, which is partly owned by Norman Lear. How did we ever let this guy into Texas in the first place?”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 21, 1986: “Communist Alert! The Cayman Islands, home of bank employees with suitcases handcuffed to their arms that go down there to catch a few rays, has LOST its only drive-in. The Pease Bay Outdoor Cinema is littered with palm fronds, and fronded with litter. This is one of the most capitalist places to hide your money in the world, so we KNOW the Commies did it.”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 7, 1986: “Victory over Communism! After two years of utter darkness, the 271 Drive-In in Paris, Texas, got reopened by a Louisiana boy named Jim Moss and a local guy name of David Floyd. First night back, they were set to open at 7 and they had cars lined up out on the highway at 5:30. They been sold out ever since, includin the tornado night, when they were showin Porky’s numbers one, two and three. They get a special commendation for promising never to show Paris, Texas at the 271.”
Joe Bob Briggs, March 5, 1986: “Communist Alert! The Lakeshore Drive-In in Edgewater, Colo., is gonna be ripped down next summer with CITY MONEY. Why? “To improve the physical image of the city,” according to wimp-of-the-year drive-in destroyer Tom Kristopetit, head of the Edgewater Redevelopment Authority. Instead of a drive-in, the Head Wimp wants a Safeway, offices, restaurants and 250 “housing units.” He’s spending $16 million on it. If they’d show decent flicks, they could make that in one night."
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 11, 1985: “Communist Alert! There’s not much time left to save the Sunset Drive-In in Tumwater, Wash., where the city is holding meetings to try and confiscate the land for a new City Hall. Same old story - somebody sees a beautiful drive-in and the COVET it for alien uses."
Through its final drive-in list (1988), the Motion Picture Almanac continued to list it as the Varsity. (And still open, for that matter.) But this is probably about that drive-in:
Joe Bob Briggs, Nov. 6, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Portales Drive-In in Portales, N.M., just got bought up for "investment purposes.” I think we all know what that means. Pretty soon it’s gonna be a Richard Simmons Anatomy Asylum if those people don’t act immediately."
Joe Bob Briggs, Aug. 14, 1985: “Victory Over Communism! The Big Sky Drive-In in Phoenix was liberated from the condo developers and is OPEN again. Remember, with faith and a million dollars, anything is possible.”
Joe Bob Briggs, July 31, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Parkway Drive-In in Petaluma, Calif., the one right there next to Leisure Lake Mobile Home Park and Highway 101, is about to get fern-barred into oblivion by a developer named Marshall Ward. If this one goes, the closest one left to Santa Rosa is the Redwood Drive-In in Rohnert Park, and who the heck wants to go there?”
Joe Bob Briggs, June 26, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Vista Vue Drive-In in Security, Colo., bit the dust on May 30 when they chopped down the supports and let the mother fall down right there in front of God and everybody. Now this is right next door to Colorado Springs, so you might be wondering, WHERE THE HECK WAS THE AIR FORCE ACADEMY? They waited till school was out for the summer. You see how smart these guys are?”
Joe Bob Briggs, May 1, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Sunset Drive-In in Hot Springs, Arkansas, is history. A grocery chain got it, but they didn’t get the screen yet. We’re talkin about trying to project around the Safeway, but they plowed up all the parking ramps.”
Joe Bob Briggs, April 10, 1985: “Communist Alert! They bulldozed over the Rodeo Drive-In in Tucson for no good reason whatsoever. Ever since they started wheeling in the nursing-home patients from Detroit, this stuff has been happening all over Arizona.”
Joe Bob Briggs, March 20, 1985: “Communist Alert! They chopped down the screen at the Winchester Drive-In in Campbell, Calif., so they can put up a "research and development complex” named Campbell Corporate Center"
Joe Bob Briggs, March 6, 1985: “Communist Alert! The Silver Dollar Drive-In in Albuquerque is history. It’s outta here. Gravel city. By the time I found out, it was already a bunch of pansy apartments with wet bars. It was liberals from Santa Fe.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Feb. 13, 1985: “Communists discovered in Akron suburbs! A few weeks ago some KGB spies slipped into Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, and started ripping down the Ascot Drive-In to put up a used pickup-truck lot. Before the boys in the showroom over at Pride Chevrolet found out about it, it was already Smithereen City. That’s how they do it, they sneak up on you.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Jan. 9, 1985: “Miracle in Carolina! Last week, just in time for Christmas, the Skyline Drive-In in Wilmington, N.C., was resurrected for the first time since Hurricane Diana made it look like a permanent screening of Friday the 13th in 3-D. They call it the Skyway now, and they’re back to four bucks a carload, except for people from Raleigh who have to pay five.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Nov. 22, 1984: “Communist Alert! Last week a Superior Court judge named Henry V. Barnette Jr. (also known as Hanky Panky) said the Cairo Drive-In was a “public nuisance” and closed the sucker down. It’s the one in Fuquay-Varina, N.C., run by Jimbo Bullock. Jimbo’s 64 years old and his wife just had a heart attack and he just flat don’t have the cold cash to appeal. It’s one thing when the greedy turkeys buy up the land and rip down the screens to build Wal-Marts. It’s a whole lot different when our own judges and lawyers turn out to be Communists in disguise.”
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 26, 1984: “Communist Alert! New facts keep coming out about Judge Henry V. “Hanky Panky” Barnette and his ruling that closed down the Cairo Drive-In in FuquayVarina, N.C. It seems that Hanky had to watch nine movies, including one that they put on upside down, before he could figure out they were “obscene.” First he watched Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle, then Titillation, Up and Coming, Johnny Does Paris, Summertime Blue, and four more of the suckers."
Joe Bob Briggs, Dec. 5, 1984: “Communist Alert! World War III on the horizon! Last week the last operating drive-in in Lubbock, Texas was burned to the ground. The Circle Drive-In’s last double feature was Let’s Get Physical and Taboo, and Lubbock police are talking vigilante city by the drive-in haters and their fellow Babtist sympathizers."
Corroborating rivest266.
Joe Bob Briggs, Sept. 19, 1984: “Communist Alert! Joe Bob reminds you that last week they shut down the Southside Drive-In in Macon, George, for no good reason, which means they got the same number of drive-ins in Bibb County as Trans-Ams in Peking.”
The 1955-56 Theatre Catalog listed the Ranger under Ranger TX, owner H. N. Rapp, capacity 200 cars.
The RV park across the highway from the old Ranger site lists a Ranger TX postal address. This drive-in really ought to be listed here too under Ranger TX.
In July 1984, Joe Bob Briggs published a letter describing “an old, broken-down drive-in” on the south side of I-20 between Ranger and Olden at Exit 347. “(I)ts screen has crumbled, and grass and brush grow rampant over the parking lot.” Those are pretty specific details, but I can’t find a drive-in at that exit in old aerial photos.
On the other hand, in October 1984, the Midland Reporter-Telegram reported that the Ranger’s owner, Jackie Thornton, said the drive-in would be converted to radio sound “in about a year.” He also said the Ranger had never shown X-rated movies and wouldn’t as long as he owned it.